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Have You Tried Slow Sex Yet?

    We’re back folks after doing a little bit of research and our newest conclusion is that slow sex is the BEST sex ever!

    I know I know, slow sex?! Who would have thought?

    Join us on this broadcast as we share all our juicy research and we deep dive into the science behind slow sex!

    We’ll also go over some practical tips to slowing down in the bedroom and why slow sex can be even more delicious and fulfilling that your average run of the mill rump in the sheets.

    Our method can provide profound life-changing intimacy breakthrough, but it’s not for everyone. Which is why we spend time first understanding each person’s values, wants and needs before even talking about enrolling in our program.

    Reach out to us here to get your free ebooks and request a free 15-min phone consultation: https://m.me/olivier.bessaignet.14

    Audio Version

    Video Version

    Jordan
    Hi, welcome back to our broadcast. I’m Jordan Bessaignet.

    Olivier
    I’m Olivier Bessaignet.

    Jordan
    And today we have yet another super juicy topic.

    Olivier
    We’re on the role of talking about.

    Jordan
    Sex, which is great because I love sex.

    Olivier
    It’s your favorite topic.

    Jordan
    It is my favorite topic. Sex, birth and death, which I would argue are all the same things. No, but we have been doing lots and lots and lots of research, and we came up with a brand new topic to talk about today. And the big question is, have you tried slow sex yet?

    Olivier
    Yeah. So last time we talked about emotional intimacy, right? So it’s essential. Right? So in our threestep method, one, it’s emotional intimacy to create the bound. Second is dissolving trauma, because it’s going to be hard to access all this pleasure, et cetera. There’s blockages around sex being negative in some way. And then sexual intimacy. Here we are. Have you tried to slow sex yet? So we kind of touched on it in the what was that episode like Shirley Cosmic?

    Jordan
    Yeah.

    Olivier
    We didn’t touch on it.

    Jordan
    We did.

    Olivier
    We just want to step further. This is your favorite topic.

    Jordan
    This is my favorite topic. So I guess I want to start off by asking what slow sex isn’t.

    Olivier
    Isn’t? Yeah. So I’ve tried to draw at least my interpretation, and I’m curious to know yours from the female perspective. So how does it look like it’s mainstream sex, peak orgasm. Right. So what’s interesting, because when you came back from, if you remember, in the living room, we had like a five to seven minute kind of session, so that’s what we did.

    Jordan
    Yes. Right. So we’re not knocking.

    Olivier
    Exactly.

    Jordan
    Sex is fabulous. We love all kinds of sex. Okay. We will never discriminate against sex in this household, but we want to go into a different way outside of mainstream sex. And when I say mainstream, I’m talking about kind of sex that I mean well, first of all, we’re not taught anything about sex. Right. Most of our sexual education, I would say, comes from pornography, movies, at large movies, if you can call that sex.

    Olivier
    Sex is portrayed in TV shows and movies in a certain way, like kind of healthy way. And then how do we actually see the graphic of it? It’s yeah, so it’s predominant.

    Jordan
    So that’s what I’m referring to when I say mainstream sex. And yeah, peak orgasm is when you know you’re climbing, you’re going, you’re going, you’re going, you’re going. And then, oh my gosh, all of a sudden, either the man ejaculates or the woman and the man ejaculate together at the same time, and it’s just like this, and you have your cool down period after.

    Olivier
    It’s pretty steep.

    Jordan
    It’s pretty steep. It can be fast.

    Olivier
    No, I mean they’re coming down once the man has orgasm. So it’s true that there are different stages and potentially, like, Stamina capacity for men. Sure. Like in my could execute it like two, three times in a row. I mean, four times. Like not a problem in a row. Multiple times the same day. Now, in my 50s, it’s different. Yeah. Because the level of testosterone is lower, so the physicality is different. Right. So let’s talk about so that’s the curve. We’re going to touch on what we call slow sex, which is valley orgasm. But I just want to touch on some stats that I just found on the Internet every time it takes to orgasm. So the men are about like five to seven minutes. Okay. This one so what website was like this is like five, four minutes. The other website was saying five to seven minutes. Right. And the woman during sex, during partnered sex, lasts 14 minutes.

    Jordan
    The average time the average time for a woman to orgasm is 14 minutes.

    Olivier
    So I think it’s kind of unfair that nature in this context has kind of wired us for frustration.

    Jordan
    I know. This is so interesting, going back to this is why I love talking about this topic. Because when you’re saying when you were in your twenty s, you could ejaculate multiple times a day and just like, boom, right back. Right. And so my personal experience thus far has all been with men, you know, from their twenty s or their late thirty s. And so I was used to like, okay, like, my partner ejaculating in like five minutes.

    Olivier
    Yeah. Five minutes.

    Jordan
    Or even continuing literally less than five minutes. And then you just continue. Yeah. And then he would get another erection, and then we would settle in for like the long haul. Right.

    Olivier
    Yeah.

    Jordan
    And when we got together, I’ve never dated someone in their 50s before, and I actually didn’t even know you were.

    Olivier
    50, but me neither.

    Jordan
    And so I kept running into this problem when we first started engaging sexually, is that there’s multiple problems on my end. Yeah. Well, one, I was so used to my partner ejaculating really quickly that I would allow for the energy from my end to just, like, ramp up the man, if that makes sense.

    Olivier
    You would ramp up the man? Totally. Yes. It makes sense to me. I don’t know if everybody’s noticed, but yeah, talk about that. I love it.

    Jordan
    And it’s something that I can do energetically. Also physically, but energetically. It’s like edging and then allowing almost like pulling the orgasm from the man. But that would be fine because then we could just go into another round of sex.

    Olivier
    Yeah. I would eject it. And then to keep it going, I would do oral or switch fingers or have some kind of still, like, working on the woman until I would get back hard and then come back. Yeah.

    Jordan
    So when we got together and I tried to do that, I remember you literally pushed me away. No, please don’t do that.

    Olivier
    Don’t blow me.

    Jordan
    It literally blew my mind. I was like, what are you talking, this is how I have sex. What are you talking about? And then through our partnership, as we dive deeper and deeper into sexuality and exploring it together as husband and wife, I’ve had to learn, rewire my brain from this mainstream sex, the peak orgasm sex. And I’ve had to learn about the Valley orgasm.

    Olivier
    Yeah.

    Jordan
    And then I learned when we started having Valley orgasmic sex together, aka slow sex, that I was 1000 times hear that, folks? 1000 times more satisfied.

    Olivier
    Wow. You didn’t even tell me this. You tell me that you felt more satisfied, but you didn’t say one time. There are multiple components that we discovered through our experimentations. The spark thing has been one of them. And we’re going to circle back to don’t take it from me.

    Jordan
    Take it from me, folks.

    Olivier
    But it concurs with kind of the research because, like, the mainstream kind of peak way, I find it very male oriented. Yes, and I’m curious about your perspective as a woman about it. But, like porn, I’ve always been geared to be a pleaser. It’s like I care.

    Jordan
    But you’re also European. I want to point that out, that you’re not an American man.

    Olivier
    I’ve heard so much about women feeling like he doesn’t really care about it’s, all about his pleasure. And it’s like the sexuality or the paradigm is geared towards the male pleasure.

    Jordan
    I would 100% agree with that. When I participated in that old paradigm and there’s so many layers of why that existed for me personally. One, I was involved in sex work. So that was actually my introduction to penetrative sex. The first time I had it, I was raped. So after that, I deep dive into sex work and literally, I was being paid to give an experience to someone. So that, like, set me up. Along with the lifetime of training of the patriarchy and witnessing my parents’relationship, where my mother was very subservient to my father in the way of the Catholic religion and all of that paired together gave me so many different layers to exist in that old paradigm. And I actually didn’t even enjoy sex. I was so numb, I couldn’t even feel anything. So I was like, okay, well, if I can’t feel anything, I’m going to give whoever I’m having sex with I want to give them pleasure. And then I would also get off by giving them pleasure. But not, like, physically, but emotionally. An emotional orgasm.

    Olivier
    Yeah, if you’re lucky enough to have somebody who’s actually able to give emotional connection, which, I mean, I’ve heard of so many frustration stories.

    Jordan
    Oh, yeah.

    Olivier
    There was also care. Not being bad either.

    Jordan
    Yeah. And so the first time I had sex and I felt something, I was like, oh my God, this is super fun. And I actually engaged with that partner for two years. And we explored, like, sexuality a lot, but it was in a masculine oriented way. And let me tell you folks, it was a very messy time in my life. He was engaging in non ethical monogamy. So he was cheating on I just want to call a non ethical monogamy, but, yeah, he was basically cheating on his girlfriend, and she wasn’t because the.

    Olivier
    Book is consensual non monogamy. But this one was non consensual.

    Jordan
    I mean, I don’t want to go into it anyway, because it was a hot mess and I was a hot mess. And so it was very, like, oriented towards him of, like, giving him pleasure and not necessarily giving me pleasure. There is no oral sex. It was like purely penetrative sex. There wasn’t, like foreplay, really. It was just like I feel like so many things are making sense right now as I’m talking this out loud, but yeah, it was like really primal sex all the time, though. Yeah, there wasn’t slow sex, but it was really beautiful and I had a great time until I didn’t.

    Olivier
    The thing for me is, like, the one way, because I love primal sex, but if I only do primary sex, I guess, like, over 50, I don’t have the level of testosterone to do it three times a day. And I tend to get numb because more rubbing. It’s like, okay, rubbing feels good. Okay, then rubbing. Okay, so how do we get more pressure? How do we sustain the pressure? Well, more rubbing, but more rubbing. Like, we hit numbers pretty fast.

    Jordan
    It’s so interesting because something that just came up for me right now is thinking about the cultural difference between one year European so there’s a huge cultural difference, but also all of the men that I’ve dated have been black. And it’s an entirely although it is.

    Olivier
    Very yes, I haven’t dated any black.

    Jordan
    Men, although it is very primal sex. There is an ebb and flow, but it’s in an entirely different way that I have yet to put words to. So although it’s primal at times and it’s not necessarily friction in the sense of, like, pornography.

    Olivier
    Okay. I mean, because black sex is pretty huge in pornography in terms of stereotype.

    Jordan
    In the stereotypical way, yes. But in my experience, it hasn’t been, like, pornographic cool experience. So there is an element of R, amp, B, love, and it’s soulful and there’s a lot of variation. It is very physical, though. Very physical. Different multiple positions, which has been extremely different from my sex with you. Because going back to what we’re talking about, of this, like, cultural difference, you know, you’re obviously not a black man, and so you don’t use your cock in the way a black man would use his. And so I’ve noticed when we have more of the primal sex, it is more friction, if that makes sense.

    Olivier
    Okay.

    Jordan
    Yeah.

    Olivier
    Okay. I’m also like biting.

    Jordan
    No, don’t get me wrong, it’s very primal, but it’s a different kind of primal, okay. Which obviously, you’re from the whole entire country and you also the only person that I’ve had sex with who has sex. Like how you have sex.

    Olivier
    I know it’s not coming. For some reason, I completely aligned. Like when I discovered Tantra and the Valley orgasm and like the connecting to Chakras and everything was like, I’m finally home, right? But I know a lot of men are able to like, I can’t have penetrative sex if I don’t feel emotionally connected and if I don’t feel physically connected throughout the whole body, I can start, but it fades. And I know that are capable of doing that. They can be functional. Like it works whether they care so much or not, if it’s like more fantasy or if it’s like fun. Personally, I need the emotional connection and I need the connecting the shackers. We’re going to talk about that. Let’s finish with the mainstream, the problems about the mainstream orgasm that can surface. Nonetheless, we just talked about it coming too often for a man. So we also touched on it. And in the Taoist tradition, they have ranges between beyond about how many times a week a man should or should not come to preserve his life force energy. It’s something to consider and everybody is different, but it’s something to consider performance anxiety when, you know, like, well, every time the man comes after five minutes and the woman is still like ten minutes to go, it can bring a performance anxiety or frustration for her.

    Olivier
    Then we can fall into permitory ejaculation. Right? So the definition I said is like 1 minute or less after penetration. That’s according to the SM Five, which is like the medical how to to do give a diagnosis system. So 30% of men experience parametric detection. So how much does it come from actual physical dysfunctions or something that’s not and how much comes from one emotional or psychological I don’t want to say problems, but lack of education or being in this paradigm without knowing anything different. And so maybe that person does not like me. I don’t align with this paradigm. So it sounds like, well, I have a problem if I don’t perform in this paradigm. So it could be that it could be that a wiring has not been awakened. So that’s a physical thing as well. But instead of like a medical thing, it’s a neural wiring that hasn’t happened. And we all come in I mean, we all come in with a certain level of like, I want to say, like, the sexual power is a dormant power. So we awakened it by puberty and masturbation and some exploration. But how much do we use it?

    Olivier
    We only use 10% of our brain.

    Jordan
    How much of our sexual power are we using? That’s a really good question.

    Olivier
    Right? So if we ask Leah or Charles Mere or like Sequoia, like Master Tantra teachers, I don’t know what they would say, but they would say that we use the common people use the 10% of their capacity for, like, we’re riding the dragon. So the dragon has been awakened. We’re riding it. I don’t know how far we can fly it here. We’re having fun with the dragon. Now, Leah and Charles Mia, like, they’ve been doing that forever. They invented all that. So.

    Jordan
    They’Re like, dragon dragon writers. Master ascension level yet.

    Olivier
    Right. So premature jacquisition. Where does it fall? You know, in all that context, I really don’t like the black and white of the medical. Also, problems like disconnection after coming, which means, like, you have to care. So the man comes either fall asleep or well, I don’t want anything to do with you. Right.

    Jordan
    I have to share a quick, really quick story about how I used to what I thought was normal based off of the hookup culture that I experienced in college. And it was the man my partner at the time would ejaculate, and we would high five, and he would get dressed, and he would leave smoke, and we might smoke weed together. I 100% thought that was normal until I first came across the word after care. And I was like, I’ve been being jipped my whole life. I felt like a teammate on the basketball team. Yeah. Let’s go. That was great. Okay, see you next week.

    Olivier
    It’s very masculine oriented energy. We can call it even toxic masculine.

    Jordan
    Yeah.

    Olivier
    I don’t know if it’s toxic uneducated, but anyways, it’s masculine oriented.

    Jordan
    Don’t high five your partner after that.

    Olivier
    And the last one I have is objectification of the female. So that’s what I wrote from a male perspective. I don’t know if you think of anything else from a female perspective.

    Jordan
    Well, I mean, everything that you talked about was the male perspective of problems, about mainstream peep orgasm. And I would throw in the biggest one that I’ve experienced from existing in that paradigm is dissatisfaction.

    Olivier
    Yeah.

    Jordan
    Because if your partner is ejaculating after five minutes and these are obviously just, like, statistics and take from that what you will, but if your pregnancy is ejaculating after five minutes and you are ejaculating sometime around 14 minutes, that’s a huge discrepancy. Plus, you throw in the lack of care, the lack of after care, the lack of emotional connection, which, you know, we’re not saying, like, everyone has sex like this. Obviously, this is a paradigm. It does exist. Throw all of that in, and that is a huge recipe for extreme dissatisfaction. And so I would go from partner to partner searching for.

    Olivier
    I mean, we tried to make it sustainable.

    Jordan
    Yeah.

    Olivier
    We were married, right. So long after the element phase. Right.

    Jordan
    Yeah.

    Olivier
    So in the staining, I’ve met so many women who, like, the main paradigm is, like, women after 50. Well, sex kind of they go through menopause, and it’s not for me anymore. I have my kids, et cetera. I got to say, the best sex I had was with women over 50. Because they were trained in tantra, things like that, and they were juicy, they were not dry. So it’s just a paradigm, it’s a set of beliefs. I’ve been with movement that were 22 years older than me, right? So I’ve been like 25 younger and 25 almost like, older than me. So it’s a very interesting experience to have that the older woman, they are not so much into, like, physicality. That’s awesome. But now they really want to be cared for. They want emotional connection. And if they’ve sustained and expanded their sexuality, then the value orgasm usually is, like you said a thousand times.

    Jordan
    Yeah, definitely.

    Olivier
    So let’s talk about that. Are you ready to dive into that or anything else? Okay, cool. So how do we do it?

    Jordan
    How do we do it? I can give my experience of it without getting too pornographic.

    Olivier
    It’s going to be explicit.

    Jordan
    Yeah, it’s already an explicit. Don’t let your children listen to this. But for me so just to share some background information with people who might be listening to this or watching, I love penetrative sex, there’s a statistic on here, but fall into.

    Olivier
    That’S, the one you want.

    Jordan
    Yeah. So only 18 4% of women orgasm from vaginal sex alone.

    Olivier
    Alone.

    Jordan
    So that means, like, no clitoral stimulation, no anal stimulation, purely vaginal stimulation.

    Olivier
    This one. So 18% of women report that intercourse alone is sufficient to orgasm.

    Jordan
    And I fall into that. I could also orgasm if somebody breathes it on me.

    Olivier
    If somebody what?

    Jordan
    Breathe?

    Olivier
    Okay.

    Jordan
    Yeah. I would also be able to orgasm that way. So I am a rare woman, but I personally don’t really like a lot of clitoral stimulation. In fact, it actually kind of numbs me out. And so I love penetrative sex. Right. And so for me, one of the problems that we’ve been running into, I feel like we’ve solved it through this research that we’ve been doing, is I love penetrative primal sex. And so we were running into this problem together where we would start having penetrative sex and you would lose your erection after five minutes. And it was multiple times where it became a thing, and it was like, oh my God, are you going to get hard? Oh, my God, like, what’s going on? And so we worked through it together. And something that you shared with me was that when there’s a lot of friction, it tends to numb you out.

    Olivier
    So here’s the thing. If I have connection, if I have, like, I can touch your heart and I have my heart on you and feel your butt and be inside of you and grieve together, kiss at the same time, then it’s a whole body experience. I stay hard, like an hour or two, but if we tend to disconnect, maybe have a little break because we’re organizing the pillows or finding the loop or whatever, and then we go into like, for example, doggy style, where it’s like the contact is limited. It’s genital contact, which is part the main paradigm. It’s genital contact. Right? So the simulation, the pleasure is happening in genitals, and it’s more like it’s a release, right? The peak orgasm is a release, so I can do it. But if we follow that kind of routine, then it’s like, I don’t have control over my cock, so my cock says.

    Jordan
    No, right?

    Olivier
    So I had to even for myself, I had to, like, track it, trace it, and go like because I was confused, too. Sometimes it works amazing. Sometimes I lose my erection. I don’t even have a good explanation of why. So it could be like a normal cycle because men also have that, but mostly like, tracking it’s. Like, oh, when we have this redact fusion kind of body to body thing and slow sex, then if we thrust and then we thrust and then we thrust and then we thrust my cock.

    Jordan
    Says no and for me my yoni is like yes. I love this. Let’s keep going.

    Olivier
    Yeah.

    Jordan
    So there is an obvious it wasn’t working. They’re like, okay, we need to go back to the drawing board and figure out what works for us. And I remember one morning we had some super juicy sex, and I felt like we discovered something new together. And so we were having penetrative sex and oh, my gosh, it’s crazy to describe this, but by going slower, I was actually able to build up more sensation in my own so then it became this, like, rainbow glitter, sparkle moments. Every second of it was like that.

    Olivier
    For me, it’s like, every centimeter. So we go this way and maybe the other way and find the spots, every centimeter. So for me, the piccogasm paradigm is like, okay, how far can we go up? Right? So we robin like stimulation. Stimulation. How far can we go up? And for me, there’s a limits. There’s a cap. After that, it’s numbness. But if we dive down, it’s an endless step. Like, we can dive and we can dive and we can dive further and further and deeper and deeper. So far, we haven’t found the limit.

    Jordan
    And something that I really appreciate about you and the training that you’ve had via Tantra and your Charles Mayor programming and the various Tantra programs that you’ve been through is that every time you orgasm, it doesn’t mean that you ejaculate.

    Olivier
    Yeah, absolutely.

    Jordan
    Getting to a space where you’re edging.

    Olivier
    Yes.

    Jordan
    But you’re not ejaculating.

    Olivier
    That’s exactly what I was trying to do.

    Jordan
    Which is the valley? Right.

    Olivier
    So it goes up, and then when it goes up, instead of going, well, yeah, let’s amplify it. I like to relax. Right? And so we relax together, we breathe together.

    Jordan
    It’s like shaking. It’s all of the signs of if you were to watch this happening, you would say, oh, yeah, he’s obviously ejaculating, but he’s not. He’s, like, distributing the energy yes.

    Olivier
    From the genitals throughout my whole body. And being in contact with your body also helped me with that. Especially if I don’t have hands on me. Right. Because that’s something to say that yeah. So instead of being like genitals to genitals, we use this principle, which is a scientific fact, which is that our bodies are electrical circuits, right? So if I hold this thing, then I’m not closing the loop, the circuit, but if I hold the other end, I close the circuit, and my body is the conductor that makes the lead up light up. So now we’re holding hands. Okay. And then we’re closing the loop with both our bodies. Right. So it’s funny because all one end and then we go like, oh, it’s gift. So that’s kind of a bit of a joke. But this principle, which is a scientific fact, we use it when we have sex. So if I’m inside of her, that’s one point of contact in the first chakra. I mean, second chakra being the sexual chakra. But then I’m going to use my hands and touch her here or scratch or have my hand on her head. Right.

    Olivier
    Or even on the 6th chakra, I do all that intentionally and just turn like that all the time. I’m like rubbing her back and the back of her lower back. To have this intention of dispersing the energy from the genitals all the way even like here, here. Sometimes it’s fun to kind of, like, bite you in the neck, but also it’s connecting two points exactly like that. Intentionally.

    Jordan
    Yes. So instead of edging so hard that you get to the space where you joculate, it’s the valley, we’re going up, and then you’re letting the energy disperse. Or maybe I’m going up, and then I’m letting that energy disperse. And then, so we go down a little bit, right, but then the next time we go up, it’s like stairs, almost like, you know, and then we’re going up, and there’s even more pleasure because now all of this electricity is building. There’s some sweat, there’s breath.

    Olivier
    And so if we were going fast right away, I would probably call on myself a premature ejaculator, which means I would last less than five minutes, maybe less than one minutes. But this first bump, instead of ramping it up, if I do exactly what you described and I step eight instead of, you know, from one to ten, if I step eight, then I can go down to six and still edge, right? But then my next hill, like my ten, has gone up two or three values. So then I’m edging at eight, but my ten is higher. And the more I do that, go to eight, relax, still continue, enjoy every centimeter, and then ramp up again to my next eight, which is going to be higher. It’s going to be, like, higher than my ten from before. Right? So then I can go on and go on and go on and then we can have sex for a couple of hours.

    Jordan
    Yes.

    Olivier
    What about you?

    Jordan
    Something that I had to give up this paradigm was my craving for the big orgasm, which was given to me from the mainstream paradigm that’s not even mine, actually, but it is something that was trained into me. And so that was something that I was like, okay, you know, something about our sex life isn’t working right now. And I was, like, going through things, and I was like, wow, I’m really attached to the peak orgasm. And not saying that you can’t have that with slow sex or with a value orgasm because you can still reach the peak orgasm. But I had to let go of my craving for it and just allow it to come naturally. And, you know, I just want to shout myself out because that took a lot of internal searching and processing to figure that out. And then once we came back together, it’s like, okay. And, you know, for me, at times, slow sex can be boring. Of course. And I’m not saying here as we started out, we love all kinds of sex. We had a seven minute sex session a couple of days ago.

    Olivier
    And we also do have this type of sex much longer than that. If we switch, there are so many tricks that can happen, like a squeezing or like, tapping in certain areas to stop the ejaculation. This all works, but there are tricks. And the change of paradigm for me is way more powerful. And the change of paradigm is going from using each other for our most powerful, best orgasm to connection, right, and letting go. Because, honestly, can a man be really better than a vibrator? And how a woman knows how to touch herself? And same for a man, you know, maybe, you know, I have some ways that no woman can reach me there, right?

    Jordan
    Yeah.

    Olivier
    So instead of like, okay, so we’re coming together to have our biggest orgasm, which is not even questioned as a mindset. Well, we question it, right? So we come with the intention. For me, I know that I don’t want to orgasm, right? Because if I don’t, well, then I can actually have sex three times a day or in the morning, in the evening. And for me, I stay in the states of vitality and arousal that is exquisite and delicious. And so when I see you, it’s reclaimed, and I just want for you. So how do you keep the wants and the juiciness and the excitement for each other long after the cocktail of ormond has dissipated from the honeymoon phase? Well, for me, it’s like that okay, I haven’t come, so I’m so satisfied that we’ve connected so deeply and so deliciously. And then, okay, I go by my day and when I’m come back, like.

    Jordan
    I love what you’re describing because I hear so many different things, like, oh, Mom, Shouldn’t have sex or like, you know, you’re over 50, and, oh, you should be like, you’re over the hill. You’re in the second half of your life. It’s all going downhill. Or like, we’ve been together for almost three years, and for the most part, we still have sex every day, multiple times a day for the most part. Obviously, that’s not like, depends on the.

    Olivier
    Kid, depend on depends on our child.

    Jordan
    Depends on anything. But we’re having sex multiple times a week versus, like, oh, you have a child now. You guys are never supposed to have sex. And so I think something that just came to me right now is with putting our connection at the forefront of us engaging in sex. Something that I hear a lot in mainstream society is, well, this man can’t make me come. Or like, this man can’t make me come, or like, oh, my gosh, or he can’t pleasure me. Like, I should just use my vibe better. And yes, girlfriend, if that is your purpose, there’s times where I am pleasuring myself, and, you know, I’ve even kicked you out of the room, like, all right, I want to explore myself right now. I’m really exploring my pleasure.

    Olivier
    I just want to plug it in this statistics.

    Jordan
    Yeah, it’s a good statistic.

    Olivier
    So partners know and like, her vibrator use of her what partner knows of.

    Jordan
    And likes her vibrator use versus a partner who doesn’t know or disapproves of vibrator use. So saying, like, if a partner knows that his partner is masturbating versus if.

    Olivier
    Then she will tend to have way more sexual satisfaction. Then if he doesn’t know, she will tend to have more dissatisfaction. According to that research.

    Jordan
    According to this research. I was listening to a podcast the other day about sex, and the women were talking about, like, oh, this man doesn’t know this technique, and therefore, I am not able to orgasm. And for me and for you, it’s not about the orgasm. It’s about connecting with each other and therefore letting go of the need to orgasm, even. And so, you know, for example, this morning, we had penetrative sex for, like, five minutes, and there was no orgasm, there was no stars. But just, like, connecting together in that way, it felt amazing for me, you know, and it felt really intimate, and it didn’t feel, like, extremely pleasurable for me. There’s a lot of different variables going on. Like, the kids are a child, the cats coming in and getting into no privacy. There’s no privacy. And I’m, like, in my luteal phase, and there’s different hormones in my body. But it felt so intimate to connect like that, and who knows what’s going to happen tonight? Just putting connection and valuing connection over the orgasm, I think that’s the biggest game changer that you can have in your relationship.

    Olivier
    So it dissolves right there. It completely dissolves any idea of performance, because it’s not about any goal it’s about the connection. Therefore, any performance is, like, out of the way right away because it’s just about us, just about connecting, enjoying each.

    Jordan
    Other, and then getting into a space of exploration and exploring each other’s bodies. And when I touch you this way, how does your body react?

    Olivier
    So let’s go a little bit of those juicy details. So we found the spot, which is like so I’m inside of her, and she’s kind of on her side, so I’m behind, and so I’m laying on her. And so what is it, like, kind of left quadrants?

    Jordan
    It’s my left and my right quadrant. Okay, so if you split my owning up into a quadrant, there’s the left upper quadrant, the right upper quadrant, and then the lower quadrant, and then the quadrant, and yes, I guess it is my right quadrant. Yes.

    Olivier
    From your perspective?

    Jordan
    Yes, from my perspective. Yes. Wow. Folks. Where Olivier? If he’s inside of me and he touches it, I literally like kundalini orgasm. It is so intense and the most.

    Olivier
    That’S the important point. Let’s talk about that in a spark.

    Jordan
    Okay, so that zone for me is red hot. It’s red hot, and we’re actually having sex the other day, and you moved to a different zone, and I was like, what are you doing? And he’s like, well, let’s explore more. And I was like, huh, we can explore more of Myoni we don’t need to just stay in this red hot zone. And then we were talking about it, and it’s like, wow, I want my whole yoni to be a red hot zone.

    Olivier
    Exactly. Awakening the dragon. Yes.

    Jordan
    Yes. I always share with people that I was in orgasmic. I was not able to orgasm with a partner for the majority of my life. And so doing the trauma work and figuring out where I felt shame and engaging that with our emotional connection, which is deep and best, like the ocean. And then now you actually have so much torture training that we’ve included into our sex practice. And between all of those three, within actually, I think it was within five days that we were together, I had my first orgasm, and it’s like, oh, my God. And since then, we’ve just jumped off the mountain together, and it’s been this deep exploration of, like and reclamation of my own, the rewiring, recovering the neural network inside my own. So I went from feeling numbness to now actually being able to feel every inch of your cock inside me. And I can pinpoint where at in my own you’re stimulating versus before, it was just, like, my own. I was like, the blob. There is no distinction. There’s no separate parts. Now we’re, like, trying to find the red hot zones that are not my right upper quadrant.

    Olivier
    For me, it’s like, I know where to go. I know that the right quadrant is red hot. I know that the sacred spot is activated as well, so I can play with that. I can go to the right quadrant, come back and play with that. And then I’m like, okay, explore the back wall. And, like, it’s kind of numb. Okay, I’m using the spark. What’s the spark? When I feel your arousal, it’s like it gives me a spark that I feel your arousal. So I’m like, oh, it’s like going back. That’s the spark. And then I go to another side, and then I don’t feel that much, and I know that if I stay there, my cock is going to go numb because it’s not getting the spark right. So I come back and get the spark again, and I can feel in your whole energy and your whole expression like, okay, kind of resting more or, like, relaxing more, instead of being like, ah, but that’s what we want. We want all the walls all around. Why not?

    Jordan
    I know. I remember I was asking you guys. I don’t know. I got in this, like, orgasmic mood where I’m like, if you’re not like, if I don’t even know how to explain it, but I feel like a whiny child. Like, why are you not in the right upper quadrant? And you’re like, oh, I’m stroking the wall of your yoni that’s next to your anus. And I was like, oh. And I was like in my head, I was like, I want a red hot zone. There being open to not having this crazy spark that this one quadrant is activated and going to another quadrant. Like, okay, so, like now my work is like, you know, I’m like, diving into my nerves at this point and trying to give them the spark from, I would say from my Kundalini, reclaiming these parts of my body that have been numbed out and going back to the Kundalini orgasm I shared with you. When we get into this type of sex, I feel my energy, and my friend gave me a beautiful description for it, and so I’m going to use it because I’m, like, a really visual person, and it made such visual sense to me.

    Jordan
    And she was, like, telling me, she’s like, yeah, your Kundalini is a snake, right?

    Olivier
    Yeah.

    Jordan
    And she was telling me, like, you have a really thick snake, like, almost like an Amazonian snake. Like, it’s born yeah, like, it’s huge, and it’s really thick, and so you really have to focus on getting it to move. And she was giving me her download that she had from laying hands on me, and she was saying, like, yeah, you need touch. You need to engage in this type of and not even, like, sexual touch, but just, like, touch in any kind of way. And so when we get into that space, I see the visual of the snake wrapped around my spine, right? And then so I’m able to pull the spine or pulling the energy, which is like, moving the snake. And it’s causing the snake to rise. And that’s when my body starts doing some really crazy things and it’s like really fun to let go and just let the snake slither up my spin, you know? So, yeah, that is my interpretation of a kundalini.

    Olivier
    Yes. Same for me. I active my breath a lot and my sound a lot because I’m all intentionally bringing all that energy up. And I mean, I’m sitting up because my hand is in front of me, but I’m thinking of my spine. And so I breathe in to bring it up, like front and back and have my whole body activated and sometimes getting touched on my head to have it being a fulfilling experience for my my whole body instead of being just localized.

    Jordan
    Right. And I wish more people knew about this. That’s why we’re doing this broadcast.

    Olivier
    And we could talk for another hour, but.

    Jordan
    The babysitter will drop off the kids. We got to wrap it up. But literally, we could talk about this for so long because to me, it’s so juicy. It’s so interesting. I love hearing so many people’s experiences with this. This is why we do this for our living, why we host workshops. This is why we this is why we do this. And it feels so good. Everything that I’m sharing, if you are like, that sounds crazy, there’s no way my body could ever do that. I assure you that you can do that. With the right training, with the right guidance, you are able to do everything that we’ve talked about.

    Olivier
    Yeah. So we all wired in this way, and it’s an awakening, which means for people who have some access to that, a lot of access to that, no access to that. It’s a matter of awakening. Okay, so we have this threestep method, which is step one, have the emotional intimacy going. Because if it’s just like feeling kind of disconnected or alone or kind of may in a relationship, then how can we activate this sense of connection in our sexuality? Second step is the trauma healing. Because if there’s any, like rape or physical abuse or conditioning that sex is bad or self sabotaging pattern or anything like that, I’m not worthy of love or anything like that, it’s going to be really hard to access all that. And the third one is what we just talked about, which is the juice net that we can access past those first two steps and explore that. So we have a whole mentoring program where we coach people through that. And if you’re new to our world, you can start with our we have a couple of free resources. Spice Up Your Intimacy is one of the ebook that you can download.

    Olivier
    Discovered our three step method to save your relationship from excruciating triggers and monotony. That’s the emotional intimacy, conscious communication, part disallowed past trauma and selfsabotaging patterns. It’s the trauma dissolving work, trauma therapy. And three, activate the juicy, spicy, essential intimacy you’re craving for. That’s why we just talked about. We also have another ebook free book if you want to have it, on three simple steps to set healthy and firm boundaries without rejection. So if you want any of that, please reach out to us either via email or even ideally on Facebook Messenger. I can give you my Facebook Messenger link, so reach out. I’m going to drop a comment to us here, okay? And you can ask for which ebook you want. You can ask for whatever we presented. We can send it to you. And I’m very curious if you want to share it with us. Where are you at? To see if we can even help you in any way, we offer a ten minute phone call conversation. It’s no pressure, it’s just an assessment to understand where you’re at, if we can even help in any way. Because we know that we’re not for everybody.

    Olivier
    Yeah. And so just to see if it would even be compatible, we love to have a discussion quickly on messenger and maybe a ten minute phone call. If we have any tip or book we can direct you to, it’s our very pleasure. And then if you want to hop in our mentoring program, this is where we go. Read the whole way with people for three months, sometimes longer, to really get this transformation. It’s an embarrassment. So it’s a deep practice.

    Jordan
    Yeah. So if any of that resonates with you, please, please reach out to us. And I have to say that we have to wrap it up tonight. And I hope all of you being had amazing, beautiful, GC orgasms and be kind and be well, and we’ll see you next time.

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